who am i?

today is the 2nd time or more correctly the 3rd time i failed my driving test.i feel scornful and shameful for myself.i can see the disappointment in my parents' eyes.i had done my best.really..i had..i felt so nervous during the test.before driving in the 2nd part,i kept on pinching my legs and arms.i was trembling..but i didn't manage to pass my 1st part.my heart was beating so fast,it was screaming inside..i felt like crying but i told myself not to in front of others.time is wasted on training and practicing.i do wanna pass the test of course and i kept praying..but still..perhaps God helped me in 2nd part or I'd have fail the whole test again.no one seems to understand me.sometimes, i feel so hopeless that i can actually feel that i don't any friend to turn to when i'm in need.i had done nothing that could make my parents feel proud of me for the whole life.to them,i think the most unluckiest thing that happen in their life is having this daughter.a daughter who has never make them happy since i was born.sadness,troubles and more troubles are all the things i gave them.for a moment,i don't understand why did the God create me?a useless people like me..a lazy bone...i'm turning 21 very soon but i still find no aim in my like.i'm just like a walking corpse.it's a mistake for me to live in this world..but still i have no gut to commit suicide..